When traveling in a wheelchair, especially in Europe, there are inevitably times when I literally cannot reach the destination. Waterfalls and glaciers in Norway...castles in Germany…a theater in Brussels…the top of the Eiffel tower in France…even Delft itself has museums that I cannot explore; and the Niewe Kierk tower (pictured often in my posts) is only reachable by steep and narrow stairs and ladders. What does it look like to handle situations when reaching the destination becomes unrealistic?
A lot of times what I’m left with is an; “I am content”.
Sometimes this comes easily, and other times it hurts…but overall I’ve found that being discontent and sad because of where I can’t go inhibits my ability to truly “be” where I can go, and to see the beauty that inhabits and dwells in those places. To take true joy in a place that others pass by because it is not the “final destination” is interesting. What do I see in those places that they miss? What a gift is it to “be content” with what you have instead of striving striving striving for what might be better (see “Rome Was…” for more thoughts on this).
To hold this opinion and to write this post is vulnerable for me. Since my accident, I find myself more and more seeking to be content in my ability to do the “ordinary”, instead of always pushing myself to do the “extraordinary”. Often-times I find myself in a comparison battle with those who have chosen to continually pursue extraordinary and perceivably un-doable things in the wake of a mental or mobility difference. I somehow feel shameful by being “ok” and “content” with the fact that, for example, I just can’t go to the MOCO museum in Amsterdam. Am I failing to represent the mobility impaired community by not being outraged at this fact? I don’t know. But what I do know is that in the wake of not being able to see the MOCO museum, I was able to spend a couple of hours independently exploring the Rijksmuseum; and it was lovely.
So for now, I will wave at who I think are Peter Margo and John waaaay up at the tippy top of the Niewe Kierk tower as they giggle because they are standing 15ft in front of me (having already descended without my knowledge)…or I’ll sit where the trail to the waterfall gets a bit too treacherous, and befriend a wild Norwegian weasel…true story. Or maybe I’ll record videos for my sister-in-law’s classroom from the “mid-level” of the Eiffel tower, knowing that they’ll see it as being just as neat as being at the top.
And every so often God gifts me with an incredible, one hundred percent accessible Norway Fjord Cruise boat, or a Sprinter train which I can roll on to without assistance, just when I need it most (see “A Lesson in Trust and Public Transportation”)…perhaps as a reminder that He sees me…He knows my ins and outs more deeply than even I do…and He is capable of providing contentedness in all circumstances.
